What I've been up to

I'm trying to get myself back into a version of my old normal. I want to believe that I can get back to that but at the same time cancer changes you and your priorities. I hope that I can get into a better normal!


As many of you know I used to love love love running I would run several miles a day. My favorite was to run outside on trails, I really do not enjoy treadmills. I also remember that after my first spinal cord surgery I was running again within two months. I wanted to be up and moving and I did it and got back into the to gym to build up my strength. All of this was very relaxing and made me feel good from the inside out. Running was especially a wonderful time because I spent the time praying and asking Him to give me the strength to finish my goal and to never give up. Also there was a time I was running at night and I was at least another half mile from my house and I started hearing the coyotes howling. I was scared and was sprinting so extremely fast to make it home praying with every breath I took!


Well as for the new normal regarding exercise (currently) running has been out of the picture for a couple of  years =( I did have a spell for about 6 months where I was able to go to the gym but not near the intensity that I used to be able to. Right now my exercising is done for the most part at home in maybe 5 minute increments. I have 3 lb weights, a 4 lb medicine ball, stairs, a jump rope and now a bike which I have had at the Freis house for probably 3 years. I'm not sure if the bike is going to work but went ahead purchased a pump and helmet the most comfortable one they had! As for running, it is too jarring for me =( Plus something that makes me sad is that I can't handle being outside in the heat for too long. But the positive thing is that I am working on my health by doing what little I can. My cancer twin told me about how Miramont fitness allows a free 6 month membership for cancer patients. I called earlier this morning and hope to hear from them soon.


As for friends I used to have people over at my house for movies, games or food several times a year I also lead a Bible study for awhile. Before I would be able to go to the events that they would plan, I was very involved with the college group and would be at most of the studies and events. For a long time I knew about what was going on but as I got deeper into my treatment and people would call to hang out I would have to tell them no because I wasn't feeling well enough to go out. Eventually those calls basically stopped. It was sad and I really missed those relationships. It was very difficult for me to want to call up someone and have them over because I did not feel well and I didn't feel like doing anything so I felt like there was no point. I realize now that I wish I had kept up with those relationships and I'm trying to build them back up.


So that is something that I am trying to get back into. I've been inviting people over for dinner and movies. I've also been looking for free things we all can go out and do together. There are a lot of free things in the summer some of it requires more driving than I am willing to do but I suggest that anyone who is bored spend some time on the internet or look in your local paper for events you will be surprised at what you find. Below is Cherelle, Kelsey and my mom at centerra waiting to watch how to train your dragon. The movie was free and they also provided free popcorn and cotton candy!

I've also been making reading my Bible a priority along with my prayer journal. I temporary lost it while I was in Missouri and I was very sad. It has a lot of emotions and fears along with praises in it. Sometimes it's easier to be able to write out something than to tell someone about what's going on. And it is something I can go back and look at to see how far I've come over the years. 


One of the most recent things I have started is art therapy. I've always enjoyed art and crafty things and wanted to be able to paint and draw and do artsy things like my little sister does. I also love going to different art galleries and seeing the beautiful photos and art work. Just a quick promotion every first friday of the month the is a free art walk in old town with music and snack foods at the galleries. Instead of buying cards and gift bags I design my own, although I am still sending out store bought cards most of the time. I have them so I might as well use them! 


Another thing that I have started doing is going to support groups. I always thought about going but at the same time I was scared to go by myself. I used to be very out going. I still am outgoing but it's different mostly because it is regarding my health. I don't mind talking about my health it just can sometimes get to the point that I talk about it too much, it keeps my mind focused on the fact that I have cancer. I'm in absolutely in no way saying stop asking about my health, I am more than happy to tell you and I love being able to tell you about the healing that God is doing in me, but just ask me something else about my life also. There are several things that I do and am excited about. I'm living through cancer and enjoying it because I am living!!!