I am starting a blog, which I've been thinking about doing for over two years now and I'm finally getting to it. To all of you who really know me know the story of what I've been going through over the last couple of years struggling with cancer. In brief I have undergone two surgeries, 3 months of radiation, and chemotheraphy off and on since april of 2009. Which I am completely ready to be done with!!
Psalms 6:2 Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am faint; O Lord heal me, for my bones are in agony.
What's been going on the past couple of weeks:
I haven't been feeling well and my body hates me. I've been having extreme back pain along with headaches, ear problems along with occassional vomiting. Yeah, not fun at all! Mostly I have been laying down watching movies and attempting to write a paper for my preliminary defense of my research. I'm starting to get the typing laying down thing down, but the reading hasn't been the easist. But I am making slow progress, but at least it is progress!!
As for my emotional state of being, I'm struggling and am having a hard time dealing with the pain. The pain is very similar to the pain that I had before they found the lesion in my lumbar spine so I'm nervous and scared of what the pain could implicate (the cancer has returnee). I had a MRI on Sunday morning and I meet with my oncologist on Wednesday.
It's been hard but I'm trying to maintain hope in the Lord and that he knows my heart and my desires. I know that He is the great physician and can heal me. I've been reading psalms and that has been helping. David was not afraid to tell the Lord how he was feeling whether sad or angry or joyous, he also made some very bold requests of Him. No matter what was going on in His life he knew that God was in control of it and that God was with him through it all.
I am also struggling with the fact that I haven't been able to feel like myself or be able to act like myself (the joyous out going extremely active person that I used to be). I hope that soon my mourning will be turned into dancing and that my sorrow witll turn to joy.
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Hang in there Megan, I am praying for you.
ReplyDelete-David
Me too! ~ Cherelle
ReplyDeleteOh, my Measterly. I love you. We will continue to pray for you. I hope that you feel more like yourself soon!
ReplyDeleteMegan - thanks for sharing this. You are in my prayers often, and you are such an inspiration to so many people as you've been battling with your health. I pray that your MRI is nothing but good news and that your pain and all the other side effects are soon gone.
ReplyDelete<3 Heather
Number one: I think writing is one of the most poignant ways to express yourself. Kudos.
ReplyDeleteNumber two: Your honesty is courageous.
Number three: As always, you are in my prayers.
Number four: I love you.
Number five: You are awesome.